Yes, you guessed it, my bike is out of the shop, and this morning it was under my butt! It was a bit crushing. Two YEARS of not riding was a horrible thing to exit out of. The pavement itself felt like it was some sort of wall I had to get over. And I noticed inclines that I never knew were there! Everything seemed uphill. After only 1/2 mile from my house, I started to think that maybe I was just too fat and too old to try to do this again.
And then I remembered in my "good" riding days I had a "2-mile" block...when I went out to ride and hit 2 miles, I ALWAYS wanted to just turn around and go back. And this was four years ago when I would easily ride 10 to 12 miles a day, and do 25-mile scenic rides on the weekends. So, I know that 1/2 mile seems a little soon to be wanting to keel over, but here I am, a GOOD 30 pounds heavier than I was back then. Wanting to DIE at 1/2-mile seems reasonable!
And I know that soon, I won't want to die until 3/4 mile, and then 1 mile, and so on. I just can't quit. Because right now, as I sit and type this, the endophins are doing their "thing", and it feels totally AWESOME. There's no drug you can take that feels like this.
So...yeah, the bike gear is fitting snugly this year, where it used to be kinda roomy. It's okay. Don't care. All I want is to be healthy and not have my back leaving me totally unable to move every single goddamned morning. I'm tired of having to clench my teeth in pain just getting the boys dressed. I'm tired of being in agonizing pain just going pee in the morning. Heck, I'm tired of just being tired.
So...I have to begin somewhere, and so I did. I didn't fail, I didn't quit, and heck, I didn't even clip into my pedals, so I didn't FALL!! (Don't ask). I can't complain. I won't complain!